“You can’t smell the stem of a soul to know if it’s ripe enough for change like picking out cantaloupe. Near-death-experiences won’t carve fear into the heart of a person who does not fear death. NDEs do not change people that aren’t ready. Nothing changes people that aren’t ready. There is no ready. You know when you know. It’s an imperceptible state of the mind. I was ‘ready’ every time I relapsed. I continued to be ‘ready’ until the baffling moment I found myself in the checkout lane with a handle of vodka. So much for so much resolve. Fuck ready. I was always ready. Even then, when a miracle slapped me across the face, I knew what I ought to do with it. But I’d already done it a hundred times. This moment doesn’t mean everything is suddenly going to ‘click’.”
“Luck doesn’t get you through those pillars, under hurricane-conditions in the middle of the night, asleep. I was in an anesthetized blackout. Luck has nothing to do with what happened that night – nothing.”
Black & White Overlay = Unconsciousness
Color = Conscious